You know, I had a reasonably good day today. My nephew was Christened. We were able to get Dad from the Hoyles home on a special bus to attend the Christening. I even read in church. I was still overwhelmed today to the point of breakdown.
I don't know why this happens from time to time. Perhaps I really have not dealt with any of my personal stress as I continuously try and help the rest of my family and friends. Granted, I am trying to get my house built and its starting now, but that in itself is quite an emotional ordeal.
So what happened to set me off today? Well Dad was in his wheelchair, and like anyone who has Alzheimer's/Dementia, they are not themselves. I had to read a passage in church today. When I walked to the front I could hear Dad saying to Mom "Look, there's Jason". It was just a but unusual to hear Dad talk so loud in Church sort of oblivious to everything else around him. But what got me, what really got me, was that he sounded PROUD. I have to say I walked up and had to choke back a huge lump in my throat and make my way through the reading as best as I could.
After that we finished the service and they even brought Communion to him. He liked it. Mom got on the bus and took him back to the Home. She came and met me then we went back to the Christening party.
I was just stretched thin today. I know it was short lived but I am still dealing with this heart issue where I have far too many PVC (Google That - but not the rubber suits) and feeling light headed a little. I know things will get better. I have to believe it, but some days it seems like I will never see it.
I know there are some special people in my life and I can't see them as much as I want to. That hurts me too. I know that one day all the good will make its way to the front of my life, I am just eager for that to manifest itself. Better days ahead.
